


stick a needle in my eye

by Kenmak5



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Bokuaka - Freeform, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, My writing is trash, Semi-Public Sex, bokukuro - Freeform, i cant tag, like a sentence of sex, mostly just angst tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-03-07 19:54:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13442169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kenmak5/pseuds/Kenmak5
Summary: Akaashi has found out Bokutos secret that involves a certain raven from nekoma. Will their relationship last long enough for Bokuto to be able to properly explain?





	1. cross my heart

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry guys this is all over the place but its my first fanfic so...

Akaashi sighed, walking down the corridors of the school. He was on his way to volleyball and wasn't really up for it today. He didn't know why, he just wasn't. maybe he had a cold? A lot of people have been out of class sick...

-

he walked into the gym and walked straight to the locker rooms to change. Right past his boyfriend, yelling about something stupid. Usually he would break into it and tell Bokuto to calm down. But he didn't. he just walked straight to the locker rooms to change.

Bokuto noticed this and followed quietly (for once) behind him "akaashi?" he said softly as they walked in the locker room.

 

"yes Bokuto-san?" he said and looked up at him.

"are you okay?" he looked at akaashi, concerned

"yeah...i'm just tired and I have a headache." He mumbled and turned back to change. Usually he was more talkative. He wanted to deny the fact that for a while he had noticed something off about Bokuto. He was less touchy. He didn't ask for hugs or kisses as often. It scared Akaashi to death to think of why this could be happening. When it came to friends, he was his perfect loud self...but alone Akaashi had noticed. Not to mention Bokuto coming to his house less. Sometimes when Akaashi asked to come over, he would say he was 'busy' or that he just can't. No explanation sometimes.

{flashback}

Akaashi dialed Bokutos number "bokuto-san. Im bored...come over." He said softly, laying on his bed as he finished up his homework

"h-hey akaashi....!" he chuckled. Almost nervous sounding. "umm...i cant right now..." he said quietly. Come to think of it he thought he heard a small groan in the background and bokuto seemed out of breath...

akaashi sighed "bokuto-san are you alone?" he asked and heard a shushing but ignored it.

"yeah!" he said loudly, too loudly "hey I gotta go! Love you!" he said and ended the call

"love you too..." he mumbled and let his face fall into the sheets.

{flashback over}

bokuto nodded and hugged him, kissing his head "you can rest today." He said softly. Akaashi flinched at the hug. It was hard to hug him when he was most likely cheating. He hugged back though. Bokuto looked down as he flinched and figured he had closed his eyes or something. Bokuto loved two people Akaashi. Of course. But he also loved the raven named Kuroo at Nekoma. Kuroo knew that Bokuto was already with Akaashi but he insisted that they try it to see what Bokuto really wanted. When Bokuto found out who he wanted, he would choose between the two.

Akaashi nodded slowly 'his hugs aren't the same.' He thought and looked down, pulling away and grabbing his stuff to head home. He looked back at the other "I wont be back for a few days probably...I'm not feeling too well." He said simply and left. He wasn't one to hide from situations but this was one he wanted to avoid, although he knew he couldn't. He had to face it at some point.

Bokuto looked at him questioningly and sighed. He knew Akaashi thought something was up. He hated it. He loved Akaashi to death but...Kuroo. Kuroo is someone he related to. He wasn't always having to be in control, which is what he needed. Akaashi didn't know but he liked being fucked. A lot. He liked fucking someone too. But being with Kuroo, it gave him that option. It broke him but he was leaning towards dating Kuroo and not Akaashi. He didn't exactly want to leave him, he just thought dating Kuroo was a better choice. They had fucked a few times and he liked the feeling of being the submissive one.

Akaashi went home and lied down. Sighing sadly and tearing up "why am I not enough...?" he asked himself and buried himself in the covers.

At about 10 pm he woke up that night and couldn't go back to sleep. He had numerous text from the team but mostly from Bokuto, asking if he was okay. He sighed and answered with a 'don't worry I'm fine'. even Bokuto would probably see right through that. But he didn't really mind.

Bokuto had tried to reach him all day. He had no text back. Either he knew or he was asleep. He was hoping for the latter. Akaashi couldn't find out. He needed to be told. if Akaashi found out, it would break his heart. It probably will anyway but it would be worse for him to find out somehow else. He looked down at his phone and frowned. No 'Bokuto-san' that always was Akaashis tell when it came to Bokuto. When something was seriously wrong, he never added any extra words. None other than the ones that were needed. But bokuto knew he wasn't 'fine. He texted back 'be there in five.' He sent and snuck out his window.

Akaashi sighed softly as he looked around his room. He should do his homework... nope. He didn't have any. Perfect timing sensei. He looked at his phone and sighed. There was no stopping him. He went and unlocked his door. Akaashi lived alone since his mom and dad died in a crash when he was a 2nd year in middle school. He had his grandma help him pay for things till he could support himself.

Bokuto went to his front door and went ahead and walked in. he walked to Akaashis bedroom and walked to his bed, hugging him tightly "whats wrong...? tell me Keiji..." he said softly and looked down at him "is it stress...? are you lonely again? Is it me?" He asked, complete desperate to know what's wrong with Akaashi.

Akaashi looked up at him and looked back down "I'm fine Bokuto-san....just stressed with school and volleyball...i might have a cold." He said softly and hesitantly hugged him back.

Bokuto nodded and held him tightly, sitting on the bed. He kissed his head and rubbed his back soothingly. He wanted to know the truth but he obviously wasn't getting it and he didn't want to push him. So he just held him.

Akaashi loved the warmth that Bokuto gave him. He still loved it. He drank the warmth in, knowing he wouldn't have it much longer. He wanted to confront him and yell at him and ask him why. He wanted to but he loved Bokuto and he wanted more time with him. He didn't want Bokuto to leave. So he just sat there.

Soon they migrated to laying down and under the covers. It felt horrible. Bokuto had his arms around someone else. He kissed someone else with the lips that were only supposed to touch his. He hated it. But he was still scared of the truth. Soon enough they were asleep. And Akaashi never confronted him.


	2. hope to die

Soon they migrated to laying down and under the covers. It felt horrible. Bokuto has had his arms around someone else. He kissed someone else with the lips that were only supposed to touch his. He hated it. But he was still scared of the truth. Soon enough they were asleep. And Akaashi never confronted him.

{next day}

Akaashi wake up the next day with a sigh and looked to his side. The boy that laid there before, gone. Leaving a cold indention in the bed. Akaashi ran his dainty hand over it and sat up.

Akaashi had gotten to school early, going to the club room. He sighed as he went to unlock it but heard talking. He put his ear to the door because it was two low but soft voices. One he recognized off the bat. Bokuto. But the other he didn't. it was low. Much like Bokuto. But it was quite different. He had definitely heard it before but he didn't know who's it was. Meaning he wasn't on the team. Fear ran through his body as it definitely wasn't just talking. There was more. Gasps. Moans. Grunts. He slowly unlocked the door and looked at the two. He wanted proof. He stood there.

His heart dropped. He looked at Bokuto and a wave of distrust. Dis belief. And pure heart break. Like someone stabbed his heart and it broke like thin ice into a million pieces. He then looked at the other. The one that Bokuto had been cheating with. Kuroo Tetsurou. The life left his eyes as he didn't say anything. He just ran. He ran as fast as he could. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he sobbed. He ran all the way home. Ignoring the continuous yells for him to stop. To come back, and ran up to his room, locking the door. Why was he crying? He knew what was happening. He knew it have to end at some point.

(skipping back to see Bokuto's reaction)

Bokuto heard the door and paused, lifting his head up and off of Kuroos member. When he saw the one and only Akaashi standing there at the door, he froze. Kuroo did as well. Once he saw Akaashi run he scrambled up and tried to grab for Akaashi, yelling and crying for him to come back. He looked back at Kuroo. For some reason he didn't run after him. Did he have the right to? Did he have the right to beg for him to listen to his pathetic story? He wiped his face and kept his gaze on Kuroo, who stood there not knowing whether to hug Bokuto or not. But he didn't have to think any longer when Bokuto wrapped his arms around Kuroo and sobbed into his chest. Akaashi wasn't supposed to even know he had cheated. Ever. But he got what he deserved.

(back to Akaashi)

 

Akaashi must have cried, buried in his comforter and sheets, forever. He didn't know what to do with himself. Even though he knew what Bokuto was doing, he had this small amount of hope that it was for another reason. That it wasn't true. That Bokuto had only wrapped his arms around Akaashi. But he knew. He found out rather today in the club room, that it wasn't just him thinking the worst thing possible. It was in fact true.

 

It had been a week and he hadn't gone to school and his phone was off or dead. He didn't know. He kept his bedroom and house door locked. He ignored any calls he got and had barely a meal a day. He didn't care anymore. This wasn't completely about bokuto cheating. It went much deeper than that. The one person he trusted the most. The only person he trusted enough to tell them anything. Even the biggest things that he may have been ashamed of. Broke that trust. Shattered it piece by piece.

__

another week went by and he was at school again. He knew he had to. Or they would contact his parents. That isn't what he needed. He ignored the loud, begging voice that would trail behind him. He ignored the questions from his teammates. He ignored even Kuroo himself trying to get him to talk to Bokuto. He said "its tearing him apart." He just laughed when that statement was said. 'how do you think I feel? The one person in my life that I trusted. The one person in my life that never left me even in my worst moments, betrayed me. He thinks he's been torn apart? Hah... that's like a fight between a mouse and a cat.' That's what he thought to himself as he walked away.

Soon everything stopped. Was he fine? No. he still wanted to scream and cry at Bokuto why. But he couldn't bring himself to face what would be said. So he left it. He ended up quitting volleyball. They could find another setter.

Bokuto had an empty spot in his heart that could never be filled. Not even by Kuroo. It was for only Akaashi and it would just be there for the rest of his life. He stayed with Kuroo. And Kuroo helped him through his bad days and nights.

Akaashi was alone. But the only one that he wanted to be best friends with was Bokuto and he would never be able to find someone like him. So he stayed alone. Sure he had friends but at the end of the day, Bokuto was the only one he could see himself staying with after graduation. After college. And through life. But he couldn't now. So he was okay alone.


End file.
